Mellow Sunday

It was time to move the clocks forward an hour today...so it's 11:30am on a quiet Sunday morning and everyone is still sleeping. Did a load of laundry, cleaned a bit and now I'm listening to my XM radio to mellow acoustic music.
I can't say that I'm feeling peaceful, just a bit calmer than the last few days. Still at a moment away from crying but maybe I need to cry a bit. The last big cries I've had did not help me.
I used to be able to have a good cry and feel better. That hasn't happened lately.
My husband said he can't understand me anymore, how can he, I can't figure myself out. At my age, I'm supposed to be more secure in my life, and don't get me wrong, I'm more confident and secure than I've been ever, but I feel something is missing.
Yesterday at work, I did alot of saying no to people. I hope they know it is just my job.

I'm moving to a warmer climate

The first snow is always beautiful. You watch the flakes float down and enjoy the winter wonderland it creates.....and then it snows again, and again, and again. I was hoping the weather people were wrong this time, that we wouldn't get the 10-12 inches of snow last night into this morning, but they were correct!!! Congratulations!!! The kids had a snow day and hubby's meeting was cancelled but I still had to clean the house, do the laundry and also shovel. The boy was shoveling (of course for money, he wouldn't do it if we didn't pay him) and I decided to help him (He's my baby, I can't have him going out by himself to do the whole thing). The girl didn't wake up until after noon and then took a shower. Oh to be a teen again. If I can go back in time, knowing what I know now, being a teen would be so awesome. It sucks, I hate the snowy mess, I really would like to leave New York and settle in some place warmer.

Ok, I've got a bit of an addiction to Facebook. I like the ideas of Facebook, My Space, Twitter. It keeps you in touch. I'm a person who's against walking around with a cellphone all over the place, but I enjoy popping onto facebook and see what's going on with people I haven't seen in over 20 years. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to know what my first crush from kindergarten is doing now.
I don't consider myself a stalker, I do search people out, but I won't friend them. If you see my name and want to friend me, I will happily accept. I do get dissappointed if I sign on and I don't see anyone requesting my friendship or sending me a hug.
My mom doesn't like this "Spacebook" thing. She feels you give out too much information. Her friend told her that someone cheated on her husband thru it, "she met men thru Spacebook", my mom said, "I wouldn't want anyone to talk to me on that!!!".
I'll keep my low profile, while some people have hundreds of friends, I stick to my handful. I did join MobWars tho:)

Blah,Blah,Blah

I'm not so sure what I'm going to talk or rant about. My kids, my husband, my job, my life, could be about anything or anyone.
It was a beautiful day today, we went and took a walk around the duck pond. Unfortunately, the boy did not want to come with us and I really didn't want to leave him alone for too long. My kids are not babies anymore, they are teenagers and I need to learn and let go a bit. I just have doubts that I'm going to let go too fast and someone's going to crash, could be one of them or me.
I want my kids to grow up and lead happy, healthy lives but I don't want to have them grow up too fast or too slow. I don't know if I'm being a smothering mother, I hope I'm not. It was just so much easier when they were younger. They kinda had to listen to me, they thought I knew everything, I was their world. Only G-d knows if I'm doing the right thing.